You don't know Jack

Don't get me wrong - I love Jack Neo as much as a dog loves smelling the nether regions of other dogs (and the world would be a better place if this was a socially acceptable behavior for humans).

After all, Jack is the most prolific filmmaker in Singapore's history, having made some 11 films in 10 years. A remarkable feat considering slightly more established filmmakers such as the late Stanley Kubrick made about 11 minutes of one film in just about the same amount of time.

But I'm wondering, because I've got too much time on my hands since the authorities blocked Youporn, has Jack run out of ideas?

I mean, after the massive hit Money No Enough a decade ago, the second highest grossing film in our cinema history ever, he has gone on to make many socially-biting movies, and never straying from a consistent theme.

I mean, just look at all the movies since.

1) Hormone No Enough (I don't know how else to describe Liang Po Po);
2) That One No Enough (because we couldn't say sex or shagged in movie titles back then);
3) Study No Enough (not that I'm stupid);
4) Iran No Enough (what other reasons could he have had to make a local version of possibly one of the best Iranian films ever);
5) Luck No Enough;
6) Jail No Enough;
7) Love No Enough;
8) Study Still No Enough;
9) Body No Enough;
10) Fann Wong No Enough.

And yet, after all that creativity, we're back to money again.

I mean, sure, it's timely. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is feeling the pinch in my pocket, and it ain't because my girlfriend's feeling frisky.

Look at how much more we have to pay for things nowadays, such as a taxi ride. It was just a few months ago that they upped the peak hour surcharge, the CBD surcharge and the Empty-Cabs-Drive-Pass-You-While-You're-Flagging-Frantically surcharge (or as taxi drivers would say, Taxi No Enough surcharge) so much that my daughter no longer has a university education, now they even added a fuel surcharge.

What are they - planes?

Of course, it's not really their fault, since the oil price has gone so high that it is now officially a member of Mile High Club (Oil No Enough lah, the Saudis would say).

On top of all that, there are now so many ERP gantries in the CBD that if I spit, my saliva would bounce off one and hit me back on the face.

So yes, money is really still not enough, but truly, in our current climate, we hardly need reminding.

But never fear, Jack, for I am here. If you need more ideas for movies, feel free to take from the suggestions below. All I want is my own trailer with a jacuzzi and my own nubile personal assistant.

a) Good Channel 5 Sitcom No Enough (have you seen The Yang Sisters? No, I didn't think so);
b) Singapore Girl No Enough (a lesson the makers of the new Singapore Airlines ads really has to learn);
c) Charity No Enough (I mean, if you can't trust a flying monk, who can you trust these days?);
d) Chio Bu No Enough (so much so that even Mediacorp couldn't bear to broadcast Miss Singapore Universe this year);
e) Baby No Enough (it's a fact, there are less births than deaths each passing year, a valid case to legitimise bigamy).

I could go on, but my head is hurting from thinking so much.